Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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