One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
