Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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