I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
