It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
