So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
