he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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