i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
