Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
