so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
