Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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