I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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