Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
