So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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