he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We left the knife in your bed.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize