I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
