Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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