Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
