she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize