i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
