best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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