I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
