never play flip cup with pint glasses
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize