this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just invented taco cereal.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
