is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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