I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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