She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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