4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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