I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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