the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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