I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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