Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
