just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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