i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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