just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it hurts more in the daytime
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
