Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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