is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
