so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
