"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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