the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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