whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
