Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
