whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I want to walk on stilts...naked
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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