Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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