what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
