So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
