Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
