Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize