The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
