He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
