I cannot find my penis.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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