Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I could fuck to npr.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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