Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
