i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
