I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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