It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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