where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize