my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize