you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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