After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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