I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
